Happy Thanksgiving! Now Rise, Dammit

So, bread. Yeah, yeast and I have not been friends much. I've not had a good feel for it. My mom used to bake when I was very small, before I learned to cook on my own - so I never gained any confidence in working with it. Add to that, the first few tries with baking haven't worked all that well. (For example, this is a photo of the whole wheat loaf that I made about a year ago.)

If you can tell, it didn't raise well, and was pretty dense, though tasty. It made for some delicious toast, and a few nice croutons.

So, I decided to try this recipe: http://dailywaffle.com/2011/10/14/milk-bread-yeast-rolls-yeah-i-made-this/ It's a milk bread roll recipe and seeing that it's Turkey Day tomorrow and I'm responsible for said turkey, I thought I'd add in rolls for fun.

(This photo is in the final rise)
Here are my changes to the recipe: Instead of 5 TBSP butter, I did a whole stick. Why? Um. I forgot and just melted the entire stick and stuck it in. I actually didn't realize that until just now when I was reviewing the recipe. I also forgot about having to do the egg wash a second time so I am off to do that. More photos in a few moments. I don't have silpat at home, so I used parchment paper.

I'm not so sure if there are hot spots in my oven, so 7 minutes into baking I turned the pan. They looked AMAZING and I nearly stopped the baking, but I didn't. I am waiting for the next 3 minutes to go and grab these from the oven. I don't know if I'll be able to restrain myself and wait till they are cool to eat one.

Yeah, I couldn't wait.

Things I might try differently: I believe you can make this into a sandwich loaf, and next time I will definitely try it. I'll also keep the extra butter - the dough was beautifully elastic, and butter is awesome. Next, I think I'll add a bit more salt and will increase it by 1/2 tsp till it tastes right or doesn't rise. I don't know why, but I think it needs a bit more oomph. Finally, I think I'll let them cool before eating them. I kinda burnt my mouth a little.

I hope you try this recipe. I think it's a beautiful one to use.

Canned Meat Products Are Made by the 1%!!

My husband bought this at the store. I hadn't warned him:

He opened it "Um, wow, this doesn't really look like the label" and of COURSE, I rushed in with my camera.

I walk away, laughing, knowing I have another winner. Soon follows a sucking sound like when you empty dog food out of a can but the dog ran OUT of the kitchen. I hear "Ugggh. I'm NOT going to eat this. There is no way." followed by both of us literally on the floor of the kitchen crying tears at the fact the dog refused to even sniff the canned meat product.

And, here, my friends, is the final picture in the trifecta of canned grossness. The 3rd circle of Dante's Inferno.

--farah

Castleberry's Stew

Cans of Stew. Should be outlawed.

Delicious looking product, correct?

Not so much!!!!

Looks like diaper poo.

Now, for something yummier:

Broccoli Cheese Casserole

WITH BACON!!!!

Here is the recipe I followed:

http://www.yummly.com/recipe/Broccoli-Cheese-Casserole-Allrecipes_1

-1/2cup long-grain rice (uncooked long grain)

-6 slice bacon

-1 onions (chopped)

-10 oz broccoli (chopped frozen, thawed)

-one can cream of chicken soup (condensed)

-1 cup milk

-16 oz sauce (processed cheese)

Directions

-Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C).

-In a saucepan bring 1 cup water to a boil. Add rice and stir. Reduce heat, cover and simmer for 20 minutes.

-Place bacon in a large, deep skillet. Cook over medium high heat until evenly brown. Drain, crumble and set aside. Saute onions in bacon drippings over medium heat.

-In a 9x13 inch baking dish combine cooked rice, bacon, onions, broccoli, soup, milk and cheese sauce.

-Bake in preheated oven for 30 minutes, or until golden brown.

I used only 2 slices of bacon because that was what I had. I also only had a can of cream of broccoli soup and no fake cheese (who the heck would really use a block of Velveeta except for the Duggars?)

So, here I go with my 2 strips of bacon and real cheese.

Here is photo 1: Not too awful.

You really can't NAPed (not as pictured) up BACON, rice, and onions. For those of you who do not know, anytime you type BACON it has to be in all capitals because that is the proper way to show others that BACON has dominance over all other foods. Well, Butter is pretty important too but should only have the first letter capitalized. So sorry for the Language Arts lesson, but if the readers aren't aware, I only have myself to blame.

Second picture (BC--before cooking)... Um, yeah:

For the next picture, I wasn't sure if I should show you my son's reaction to said product or said product first. I'm deciding on showing you his picture, because he is pretty darn cute and it will lessen the look of horror you will sustain. Just remember, if you make that face too much, it will freeze that way.

Here is Sam:

And, now, the comparison pictures:

So so so so glad I have a out of the home job because, well, yeah......

--farah

Cornish Pasties

Not to be confused with the other kind of pasties. If you would like information on this kind of pasty you can find it Here.

Now, let it be known that I have made pasties before and I'm chronically bad at rolling out the crusts too thick. These were some of my better tries but still too thick. 

The recipe itself is a good base but there are some big issues I take with this recipe which I'll share after I give you all the recipe.

Their photo

310 g (2 1/2 cups) plain (all-purpose) flour

125 g (4 1/2 oz) butter, chilled and chopped

150 g (5 1/2 oz) round steak, finely chopped

1 small potato, finely chopped

1 small onion, finely chopped

1 small carrot, finely chopped

1-2 teaspoons Worcestershire sauce

2 tablespoons beef stock

1 egg, lightly beaten

Grease a baking tray. Place flour, butter, and a pinch of salt in a food processor and process for 15 seconds, or until crumbly. Add 4-5 tablespoons of water and process in short bursts until the mixture comes together (add more water if needed). 

Turn out onto a floured surface and form into a ball. Cover with plastic wrap and chill for 30 minutes. 

Preheat the oven to 210 degrees Celsius (415F/Gas 6-7). Mix together the steak, potato, onion, carrot, Worcestershire sauce and stock. Season.

Divid the dough into six portions and roll out each to 3mm (1/8 inch) thick. Using a 16 cm (61/2 inch) diameter plate as a guide, cut out six circles. Divide the filling evenly and put into the centre of each pastry circle.

Brush the edges of each pastry round with beaten egg and form into a semi-circle. Pinch the edges to form a frill and place on the tray. Brush with the remaining beaten egg and bake for 10 minutes. Lower the oven to 180 degrees Celsius (350F/Gas 4). Cook for 20-25 minutes or until golden. Makes 6.

Now my first issue with this is the bit about the food processor. I've always made my pasties by hand. So I totally tried it this way. Got halfway through adding water and decided to turn it out onto wax paper and do the rest by hand.

The cooking time was exact in this case however we had left over filling and not enough dough. I would suggest doubling the dough and just adding a little bit more potato and meat. 

Now as for taste, they were good but rather bland. Everyone in my family said next time add more Worcestershire sauce and mixing it with the beef stock and I would recommend letting the meat sit in the mixture and soak for a good 10 minutes before adding the carrots, potatoes, and onions.

Also when they say small potato, they mean small but my family loves potatoes and carrots which is why I think doubling the dough and adding more filling would do good with this recipe.

So all in all it is a great base recipe but could definitely use a little work.

Pantry Baked Potato Soup

It's gotten cold here in the upper mid-west where I live, and dude? I don't wanna go out in it. I was casting about my kitchen trying to figure out what to make for dinner with the stuff we had on hand.

I started with this recipe: http://www.food.com/recipe/baked-potato-soup-77316?scaleto=6&mode=null&st=true

And I ended up with this:

Bake 2 large baker potatoes (I used russets) or 4 medium potatoes till at least fork tender. I take and squish them a bit with a hot pad. When they give nicely, they are done. If you are doing this step well before, cool and store in the fridge. If not, it'll make your soup faster if they are hot.

About 25 minutes before serving, lay 6 slices of bacon on a baking sheet with sides and bake till crisp at 350* (also? This is how you don't have spatters all over the kitchen) Skip this step if you prefer.

Then:

3tbsp flour

3tbsp butter

melt this together in a 4+ quart pan on medium heat. When melted, let sit, stirring occasionally till it starts to turn light tan.

Then add 1 1/2 c chicken or veggie broth, stir.

Then add 1 c 1/2 & 1/2 (I KNOW, you could use milk if you prefer. I just had some to use up)

Then add 1/2 c sour cream (I'd use plain kifer if I had that instead)

Then add the baked potatoes that you have cubed. I left the skins on because I like them, your choice. Let them warm in the soup, if they are chilled.

Then add 1 cup of grated cheese. Mine was a mix of a sharp cheddar and a fairly young Gouda.

Then taste it. Add salt and pepper to your taste.

If you are skipping bacon, you are done here. If you have fresh chives, add those as a garnish. If you have chive or garlic chive blossoms, it's Spring and you are a lucky cook - make me jealous and use them. If you have a Penzey's near you, go and get their Shallot Pepper and after you've served up a bowl, add that on top. Yum.

If you are adding the bacon, take 4 slices and chop them lightly and stir into the soup. Then chop the remaining two slices and after you've served up the bowl, add them as a garnish to the top. I also used a little pepper (the Hubby loves pepper).

This soup made at least 5 1cup servings. Hubby had a huge bowl, I ate about half of the portion above and there was another bowlful in the pot.

PITA = pain in the a$$

Tonight's intended dinner was gyros using my adaptation of Alton Brown's Gyro Meat, my dear friend Stella's Tzatziaki, and Smitten Kitchen's Pita. Did you notice anything missing from the above photo? Pain in the A$$!

I'd made the pita before, it wasn't complicated. It smells and tastes very good and puffs prettily. I made up the dough, and set it aside and went on with my day. Unfortunately, I somehow stuck the dough in the freezer and NOT the fridge. So, no pita tonight. I'll attempt this one again though. When realized that I wouldn't be having gyros, I pulled out arborio rice and made lemon rice. It's super easy, and that's the recipe I'll leave with you today. Because dude? It's a side dish and dessert in one!


Lemon Risotto 2 ways



1 1/2 cup arborio rice
1 quart water
1 tbsp butter
2 tbsp sherry, vodka, or white wine (easily omitted)
pinch of salt
1/2 lemon



1/4 cup sugar
1/4 cup dried cherries or dried cranberries
1/4 cup half and half or cream


oregano
pepper
garlic powder
salt
1 tbsp butter


Heat 1 quart of water in tea kettle or sauce pan over medium high heat to simmering.

In a separate 1 quart saucepan, melt 1 tbsp butter. Add 1 1/2 cups of rice, stir. When the rice is partially see through, add 2 tbsp cooking sherry, vodka or white wine (if you want it), the juice of 1/2 of a lemon and then with your veggie peeler, peel the half of a lemon - put the cut side on a cutting board and hold the end, and draw the peeler down the lemon - and put the peel into the rice.


When this has evaporated, add 1 cup water. Stir constantly until this is all but evaporated. Keep adding the simmering water 1/2 cup at a time and keep stirring (I know it's a pain, but I promise it's worth it) until the rice is both creamy and doubled in size and soft. Turn off the heat.

Put 1 1/2 cup of rice in to a bowl, add a pinch of oregano, pinch of pepper, salt to taste, butter. Add a bit more hot water and stir vigorously. Serve with meal.



With the remaining rice, add 1/4 cup sugar, 1/2 teaspoon vanilla, half and half/cream, and dried cranberries/cherries. Stir vigorously and cool. Now you have a beautiful rice pudding for dessert!

Peanut Brittle

I've been chowing on See's Peanut Brittle and sharing it with co workers so my butt doesn't end up looking like a piece of peanut brittle. I checked out some recipes online and was POSITIVE I could do it. Check out this recipe:

Cooks.com Peanut Butter Brittle

PEANUT BUTTER BRITTLE

2 c. sugar 1/2 c. light corn syrup 1/2 c. water 1/3 c. creamy or chunky peanut butter 1 tsp. baking soda Grease 2 cookie sheets. Place on wire racks. Stir in 1 1/2 quart saucepan - sugar, corn syrup, and water. Stirring constantly, bring to a boil over medium heat. Without stirring, cook until temperature reaches 300 degrees on candy thermometer, or until syrup forms hard brittle threads when dropped in cold water. Stir in peanut butter until well blended; remove from heat. Quickly but gently stir in soda. Immediately pour on cookie sheets. DO NOT SPREAD. Cool 3-5 minutes or just cool enough to handle. Take brittle by edges and lifting it, gently pull as thin as possible. Cool. Break into irregular pieces. Store in tightly covered container.

Come on, my 8year old can do that:

Nooooo problem correct? Now, I have agave nectar so I substitute that for the corn syrup. And I want it really peanut buttery so I change the measure from 1/3 cup to 1/2 cup of peanut butter. I don't have chunky peanut butter BUT I bought some roasted nuts the other day and pack it in with the peanut butter. YAY! Also, I don't own a candy thermometer but I do have a turkey thermometer. Which only goes up to 220 degrees. (I'm just as good as Julia, right?)

Here is Cooks.com picture of their submitted photos for peanut brittle:

(actually, this was one of the pictures that THEY said it would look like, lying liars who lie)

Yeah, now here is mine:

It looks more like PoopNut Brittle. DON'T SPREAD, um, why not? It was thicker than mud. It tasted awful too. So, all in all, this was a candy fail. Bite me! Okay, wait, don't bite me.

--farah

Smitten Kitchen Chicken and Dumplings

Smitten Kitchen Chicken and Dumplings

Looking so so so fantastic with her loverly yummy butter filled homemade dumplings. Yum! I usually use a Bisquick recipe on the back of the box and use chicken nuggets or thigh pieces the kids didn't eat the day before. I also have tossed in some candied carrots and a stick of butter. So, yeah, I just wing it.

This recipe, THIS ONE, had tons of potential. However, I did not have leeks. No big deal, I had onions and butter (BUTTAH! NOM NOM). No tarragon but I had pepper and dried up bay leaves that were probably older than my 3 year old. Have no idea what thyme is but I did have plenty of time. I also had plenty of red wine for this cooking project (rather than the cooking sherry which tastes awful straight from the tap).

The red wine was my downfall. Not that I drank too much, although I did have a goblet full, I decided to press on and use it instead of clear cooking sherry. This was the downfall. The point at which turned buttah into a blue/green piece of blob. I had also used some amazing roasted chicken leftovers from dinner the night previous.

If you notice the color is off, STOP, DO NOT KEEP PRESSING FORWARD THINKING IT WILL GET BETTER. IT.WILL.NOT. You never, ever, ever put red wine in a cream based sauce unless cooking something for your mother in law or your boss.

Smitten Kitchen's Chicken and Dumplings -- please click for luscious, nommy picture.

Mine:

--farah

Welcome to Not As Pictured!

Welcome to Not As Pictured: A Blog for Real Home Cooks.

Have you ever seen a recipe in a cook book or online and been amazed at how beautiful and delicious it looks - and then excitedly made the recipe...and had the finished product come out looking absolutely awful?

If so, this is the blog for you. A blog for real home cooks. Where the pictures are authentic, and it's okay if the end result is a disaster!

For those of you who think this is the most unappetizing idea ever - no worries, we'll also share the successes.

Bon Appétit!